The Risk of Saying No

 “What are the risks of turning down this promotion?”This question came from my professor. One that has stuck with me for 15+ years. I was working at a small start-up, in a phase of considerable growth. The head of development left, and while home sick one day, the founder called me to ask if I wanted her position. I said no.That was the beginning of the end of my tenure at the start up.This was early on in my career. I didn’t have a mentor (he had left to start business school - yes I could have called him), nor an executive coach. I didn’t have the sense to take the time to think about it.I turned down the promotion because I loved my job. I loved working with our donors. I had set up processes and systems and was at a point that everything was running smoothly. I had just started business school and liked the confidence of knowing what I was doing. And I didn’t know what the new role would entail, and assumed I wouldn’t like it. Or, to be honest, be good at it.Within the year, I left the start-up. The new director and I did not mesh well. Soon after she started, I realized I wanted the promotion. And I would have succeeded. In my opinion, better than her. With the words of my professor in my head, I left.

Mistakes not to repeat

Monday morning quarterback realizations of what I should not have done.Don’t ask questions. The founder called and asked me a somewhat simple question. Or so I thought. I answered it simply, No. Instead, ask ‘What strengths of mine did you see adding value to the role and team?’ ‘Why do you think I’m a good fit for this role?’ ‘What pieces, if any, of my current role would I retain?’ ‘What were the biggest opportunities of the new role that hadn’t yet been taking advantage of?’Respond immediately. This one is simple. Instead, when you’re offered an opportunity, your response is short and simple. Say, “Thank you. I’m excited for this. Can I take the weekend to think about it and let you know on Monday?” Take the time.Keep it to myself. I didn’t get a second opinion. This is similar to the first mistake I made of not asking questions. Instead, I could have spoken to others within the organization. I could have called my mentor at business school. Sometimes we need a nudge to step outside our comfort zone.

What to do instead

1. Know your strengths. You can do this right away. Be as specific as possible when noting your strengths. Not just that you’re a team player, but that you excel best when you are able to collaborate with colleagues for a diverse perspective. What feedback have you been given, both formally and informally? What have been the results from assessments you’ve taken? I highly recommend Emergenetics if you’re looking for a good one. Contact me to receive information on taking the Profile.
2. Consider what you’re curious about. What projects, clients, and engagements have you observed and thought you wanted to know more about? What ideas do you have but haven’t shared with anyone?
3. Talk to people. When you are able to clearly articulate your strengths and curiosities, start talking to trusted colleagues (internal and external). Share with them your interests and how your strengths could help the team. CAUTION: There may not be an immediate opportunity, but once they know this about you, when a project comes across their desk they will come to you first.
4. Know what the right opportunity to say Yes or No is. Spend the time to build your awareness of skills and strengths, do your research on your organization and team, have conversations with decision makers, and...do #5.
5. Raise your hand. You’re in a meeting and the head of your departments asks for someone to take on a new project. Raise your hand. You don’t have to commit right on the spot, but rather express your initial interest of learning more. Have the conversation to determine if it’s the right fit for you.

Explore opportunities on your team, but not exclusively. Consider those in other departments or a company-wide committee. There are a number of leadership roles and experiences outside the company as well: non-profit boards and committees, networking groups, etc. What are you interested in? Not seeing an opportunity? Create one yourself.Although this mistake eventually landed me in a great job that brought me to where I am today, I had an opportunity to build leadership skills that took another decade to be in a position to develop. Stepping away from this opportunity allowed me to stay in my comfort zone, not build confidence, and question what I left on the table.Take the steps above. Take the reins on your career. Don’t let someone else decide the direction. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Ask for what you want. Raise your hand.