Don't Tell Me I Can't

At 50 pounds and just over 4 feet tall, she plays hockey as though she’s three times her size. She faces-off against boys who are brick walls in comparison. She doesn’t see the difference. Half way through the season, she was leading the team in penalty minutes. She does not shy away from the puck. Or an opponent with 18” and 50 pounds on her. And don’t you dare tell her she can’t do it. She’ll show you otherwise.I started advocating for women’s careers with alumnae of Harvard Business School 2 months before our daughter was born. Since then, I’ve advised women how to own their careers. I do this so that when my girl starts her professional career she has as many opportunities to sit at the table as her brother.Last weekend’s Sunday New York Times spoke to research about parents telling their daughters to be careful four times more often than their sons. What is the impact of this? Does it restrain them in the future from taking risks, speaking up, and taking control? If she is told to be careful on the ice, how does that influence her play today, and who she is as a professional woman in 20 years?I spend my days encouraging driven women to take the driver’s seat. To be in control of their own careers. To get out from behind their computers, and become the best lawyers, COOs, asset managers, and directors.Have you ever thought, ‘If I work hard enough, am the best of the best, I’ll be noticed and given more exciting assignments and promotions?’You’re wrong. You need to take charge. The three steps below will start the conversations to right your ship in the direction YOU choose.1 - Understand your strengths. Consider feedback you’ve received from peers, managers, clients, vendors, etc. What are the results of assessments you have completed over the years? Notice the pieces of your day that make up a particularly good one. What energizes you? What drains you?2 - Raise your hand and step up. Once you understand your strengths, combine them with your interests and curiosities and seize opportunities to showcase them. Is there an assignment outside your typical realm of responsibility that will put you on display?3 - Ask for what you want and need. Talk to your manager, mentors, and other decision makers in your company about opportunities to hone your skills. What peeks your interest and is aligned with what you want to learn?What happens if you do nothing? If you don’t take action, what will happen?Lesson Learned - Although my tiny, yet mighty, daughter has been told to be careful, she is going after what she loves. And if anyone tells her what she can’t do, her drive to do it only increases. Fingers crossed she keeps that fire lit, even during the soon approaching teenage years.Don’t be careful. Don’t hold back. Go after what you want.