Worst Piece of Advice…Potentially Controversial

Josephine was promoted to lead the team she had been a member of for the last 6 years. She knew the key players and how the department ran. However, it was the first time she was leading a large team, and without someone running interference for her (she was now the runner). And this change came at the busiest time of year.A well-intentioned friend told Josephine to pretend she belonged where she was. To fake it till she made it.Only a few weeks in, Josephine was distraught. Not only could she not fake it, she had convinced herself she didn’t belong in this new role. She even outlined a conversation with her new boss on why she was not the right person for the role, and who should take her place. The thought of going back to her individual contributor role sounded like heaven to her.Fast forward a few months…Josephine did not have that conversation with her boss. She stopped PRETENDING. She stopped FAKING IT.The worst piece of advice? Fake it till you make it.Have you ever been in the company of someone who you thought was full of 'it'? You didn’t trust a thing that came out of his mouth? When you fake it, and pretend you know what you’re talking about, your audience senses it.This makes many people uneasy when I suggest NOT to fake it. Some say this tactic builds their confidence. I compare it to the large handful (or entire bag) of jelly beans at 3pm – you get a boost of energy and then you crash. Hard. Faking it builds up your confidence when you start a conversation. My guess is that voice inside your head is still very loud reminding you of what you don’t know, what you haven’t done before, etc.What can you do instead?Build your confidence without faking it

1. Remind yourself what you do know. What experience, knowledge, insight do you have in this area? This is your pre-game talk before any big meeting, conversation, or presentation.
2. Take action. The best way to build confidence? Take Action. Katty Kay and Claire Shipman wrote a great book, The Confidence Code, on the topic. The bottom line – taking action is the most effective way to increase confidence.
3. Start small. Looking at the big picture of a project can be daunting. Break it down. Choose one small action or step you can take. The next step will be easier, like taking the first steps of the long run you don’t feeling like doing. We’ve heard this advice before. Just get started.
4. Stay one step ahead of everyone else. You may not be a full expert, but you are one step ahead of your audience. Similar to helping elementary school kids with math. (If you haven’t done this yet, it’s very different than the math you were taught in elementary school.)

Stop faking it. Today. Remind yourself what you do know. Stop focusing on what you don’t know. And the next time someone tells you to Fake it Till you Make it, tell them you have other plans. Tell them you see through that in others. You’d rather be genuine.