The Art of Letting Go: Parallels of Launching Your Kids to University and Leading High-Value Teams

We recently dropped our youngest off at university. The anticipation was worse than the actual goodbye. As we drove away, I told my husband, “I’m fine!” — then the tears fell. Three weeks later, we’re both thriving. She’s loving school, and I’m loving the freedom. We call this our Free Bird phase — empty nesting sounds too negative. While this honeymoon period might end one day, for now, we’re embracing the change.

This transition has me reflecting on the parallels between launching kids into the world and leading high-value teams. Both require stepping back and letting those you’ve guided take the reins. Here are three lessons from both worlds that can help you lead with purpose, confidence, and humor.

1. Preparing Them to Make Decisions Without You: The Art of Letting Go

Just as you wouldn’t follow your child to every class, you can’t hover over your team’s every decision. It’s natural to want to guide them, but the true test of leadership is how your team performs without you.

A great leader prepares her team to think critically and act independently. You’ve laid the foundation—now it’s time for them to take the wheel. Yes, they may veer off course, but that’s how they grow. If you step in and solve every problem, you deny them valuable opportunities to learn.

Rather than providing solutions, ask questions that prompt them to think deeper:

• What options have you considered?

• What are the potential risks?

• How does this decision align with our goals?

These questions empower your team to take ownership and free you up to focus on bigger, strategic initiatives.

2. Finding Fulfillment in Your Own Time: Shifting from Doing to Leading

When your child goes to college, you often have more free time. The same happens when you delegate effectively to your team. Suddenly, you’re no longer caught up in the daily grind of problem-solving. What do you do with that extra space?

This is where many leaders get stuck. Instead of embracing the freedom to focus on strategic matters, they jump back into the details, thinking they’re being helpful. But just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.

My clients often say, “If I’m not billing or solving problems, what’s my value?” The answer lies in where you add the most value, not where you feel the busiest. Ask yourself:

• Am I strengthening client relationships?

• Am I driving innovation?

• Am I setting a long-term vision for the team?

Like a Free Bird rediscovering old hobbies, this is your chance to redefine your role and focus on making a more significant impact. Use your time and expertise to move the organization forward rather than staying bogged down in the details.

3. Knowing When to Stay Quiet: Growth Comes from Missteps

It’s tough to watch your child make mistakes—whether it’s choosing the wrong class or blowing their budget. But if you fix everything for them, they won’t learn how to recover or avoid those missteps in the future. (And yes, some parents still email professors!)

The same is true for your team. The best leaders know that growth comes from experience, including failure. While preventing your team from making a less-than-optimal decision is tempting, the lesson they’ll learn from that misstep is often more valuable than avoiding the mistake.

Your job is to create an environment where mistakes are part of the process, not something to be feared. Offer feedback, but don’t take over. By stepping back, you allow your team to develop their leadership abilities and make independent decisions. This creates space for innovative thinking and bold action.

It’s not about letting go of control—it’s about fostering independence and confidence that strengthens your team in the long run. Trust that they can figure it out and support them when they ask, not before.

The Payoff of Letting Go

The shift from hands-on problem-solver to strategic leader can feel bittersweet, just like sending your kids off to college. But remember, your role is evolving too. The more you step back, the more your team—and your children—step up. In the long run, this approach will yield greater rewards for them, for you, and for the organization.

So let go of the details, focus on where you can add the most value, and trust that you’ve prepared your team to thrive without your oversight. They might surprise you with how well they rise to the challenge.